Supporting Children's Social Lives
Rebecca Lingo • January 6, 2025

It’s heart-wrenching. Those days when our children come home feeling the sting of a recess exclusion, a series of slights from a friend, or some other social discontent. They unload their hurt onto us, and we feel heavy with the weight of their pain. 


Childhood is a time of profound social development. Our children are navigating their social lives, and learning how to handle social struggles is a process that can ultimately build resilience, empathy, and problem-solving skills. Social challenges are a normal and essential part of childhood development. But that doesn’t make the process any easier (especially for us as parents!).


Letting the Process Unfold


When our children come to us and unload their latest story of social exclusion, teasing, or friendship drama, it is important to make sure they feel heard and that we support them to the next stages of their struggle. We reflect what we hear in an empathetic way, while also acknowledging any hurt or complex feelings. In practice, this may sound something like, “Wow, it sounds like you were feeling hurt when your friend stormed away from you during the game at recess.” Our children need to know that they can vent and that we can listen and stay solid. 


Avoid Getting Too Involved


We are hard-wired to want to shield our children from pain. (And one step further according to social media is the expectation that we should maintain joy at all times for our children.) As a result, instead of just listening and acknowledging, we can tend to hold onto our children’s hurt feelings and may even feel compelled to intervene. 


Unfortunately, our intention to alleviate the pain can often have unintended consequences. Sometimes, our intervention may be that we regularly check in with our children about the social dynamic. For example, the next day ask, “How did it go with your friend during the game at recess today?” We don’t realize that our children have often moved on from the previous day’s hurt. Childhood friendships and social interactions ebb and flow multiple times a day.


But when we keep harking back to hurt, we inadvertently do what psychologist Michael Thompson calls “interviewing for pain.” In doing so, we refocus our children’s experience on one incident they have likely mostly forgotten. Each day, when we ask again about that friendship or social interaction, our children either realize that this topic gets our attention and/or begin to think of themselves as victims. 


Support Problem Solving


Instead of “interviewing for pain,” we can ask questions that support our children’s problem-solving skills. So, after acknowledging the hurt feelings when our children first share them, we can plant some problem-solving seeds, “I wonder how you are going to handle a situation like this in the future.” Or, if we are concerned about our child’s emotional or physical safety, we can check in about what they need, “This seems like a serious situation. Do you feel like this is something that needs to be communicated to your teacher? How can I support you in getting help from your teacher?” 


Non-interference doesn’t mean neglect or ignoring something serious. Instead, we are focusing on encouraging our children to talk about their feelings without solving the problem for them, offering perspective or guidance only when asked, and observing from a distance unless safety is at risk. 


If we feel a teacher might not be aware of our child’s feelings, we can step in thoughtfully by collaborating with our children to find solutions, which may include consulting with teachers or counselors. Ideally, this is done with our children’s awareness, so they aren’t blindsided by others knowing what they shared with us, especially if they thought they were just talking through their thoughts or sharing it in confidence. 


A Developmental Necessity


Ultimately, our children learn to navigate the complexities of human relationships through their own experiences. The ups and downs of social interactions are opportunities for growth in emotional resilience, conflict resolution skills, understanding social boundaries, empathy, problem-solving, and independence and confidence.  


While current trends have us believing that we can curate perfect childhoods with joy at all moments 


By stepping back and allowing children to experience and work through these situations on their own, we give our children the space to develop essential life skills. The key is to provide a supportive environment where children feel safe to share their feelings, seek advice in good times, and be a sounding board when requested.


A Foundation for the Future


Rest assured, our children have an amazing ability to learn and grow from social experiences. By promoting space in our children’s social lives, we show a tremendous act of love that empowers them to build the skills they’ll need for lifelong social success. 


Remember, childhood social interactions lay the foundation for future relationships in school, work, and personal life. Navigating these early challenges helps children develop teamwork, compromise, and emotional intelligence skills that will benefit them throughout their lives. Our children need us to let the process unfold, avoid fixing, and support their problem-solving. In doing so, we are sending our children an important message that we believe in them and their ability to handle challenges. 


Are you curious about how children interact, navigate their environment, and select their activities within the carefully designed structures of the Wheaton Montessori School community? We would also love to hear about your experiences in fostering healthy social learning within your family to help manage this.


Current families with children of all ages and prospective families with children under 4.5 years of age are invited to attend our Open House on January 16, 2025, at 6:00 p.m. This event will offer comprehensive insights into our school, highlighting the benefits of completing our Primary, Elementary, and Adolescent Community programs, as well as providing a chance to interact with our dedicated teachers.


Current parents are also welcome to schedule a level-up observation to see your next step in our partnership.


In addition, prospective families, with young children can schedule a preschool tour and discover how preschool to 9th grade engage in a lifelong journey of learning and discovery. Our waitlist is closed for students in kindergarten through 9th grade for prospective families unless your child is transferring from an AMI Montessori school with continuous Montessori experience.


Materials Spotlight: Sandpaper Letters & Moveable Alphabet
By Rebecca Lingo February 9, 2026
Unlocking Literacy the Montessori Way At Wheaton Montessori School, Montessori literacy materials like Sandpaper Letters and the Moveable Alphabet provide hands-on experiences that connect sounds, symbols, and meaning, building the foundation for confident reading and writing. These materials help children translate the words they hear into the symbols they see, developing strong neural pathways for literacy while fostering independence and a love of language. In this blog, we explore how Sandpaper Letters and the Moveable Alphabet guide children from sound awareness to word building, creating a joyful approach to early literacy. Sandpaper Letters The Sandpaper Letters incorporate decades of insight into how children truly learn to read and write. Sandpaper Letters embody the Science of Reading—connecting sound, symbol, and meaning through hands-on learning and building strong neural pathways for literacy. These timeless Montessori principles continue to align beautifully with what modern science confirms about how your child’s brain learns best. Moveable Alphabet Before handwriting comes word building! The Moveable Alphabet lets your children ‘write’ their thoughts with letters long before they can hold a pencil—bridging the gap between spoken and written language. With literacy materials like the Moveable Alphabet, children communicate their thoughts by building words with cut-out letters—translating the sounds they hear into symbols they can see. This powerful step develops the foundation for reading and writing, helping children understand that words are made of sounds and that sounds can be represented with letters. Because our teachers base every lesson on development, writing comes first—because it’s easier to build words from sounds than to read or decode someone else's written thoughts. Our literacy approach at Wheaton Montessori School is designed to meet each child where they are, providing hands-on experiences that foster confidence, independence, and a lifelong love of reading and writing. From Sandpaper Letters to the Moveable Alphabet, every tool and lesson helps children connect sounds to symbols, build words, and discover the joy of language.
How Geometry Got Its Name
By Rebecca Lingo February 2, 2026
In Wheaton Montessori School classrooms, we like to introduce big ideas with big stories. We offer children a sense of wonder first, sort of like an imaginative doorway, so that when they later study formulas, theorems, and proofs, they already feel connected to the human story behind them. One of these stories is The Story of How Geometry Got Its Name, an introduction to a subject that is far older than the textbooks and protractors we encounter today. In Montessori, Geometry is more than about shapes. It is about human beings solving real problems in the real world. A Problem as Old as Civilization To reintroduce geometry, we time-travel back around 5,000 years to the ancient civilization of Egypt. This was a land shaped by the Nile River, the longest river in the world. Each year, the Nile flooded its banks as snowmelt poured down from the mountains far to the south. The Egyptians depended on this yearly flood as it left behind rich, dark silt that nourished their crops and made life possible in an otherwise harsh desert. But the flood created a challenge, too. It washed away the boundary markers that separated one farmer’s field from another. When the waters receded, no one could quite remember where their land began and ended. Arguments ensued. “This corner is mine!” And the fields needed to be measured and marked again. The First Geometers: The Rope Stretchers To solve this annual problem, the Egyptians relied on a special group of skilled workers called the Harpedonaptai, or Rope Stretchers. These were early land surveyors who used a knotted rope tied at regular intervals and three weights to create a very particular triangle. In our elementary classrooms, we invite a few children to hold a prepared rope at its large knots, forming that same triangle. As they stretch it out and lay it on the ground, many quickly recognize what the Egyptians had unknowingly created: a scalene right-angled triangle. This shape would later become central to the geometry studied by Greek mathematicians. The Harpedonaptai used this simple tool to re-establish field boundaries, set right angles, and make sure the land was measured accurately and fairly. Geometry, in its earliest form, served a deeply practical purpose. From Rope to Pyramid The Harpedonaptai’s expertise was valued far beyond the farmlands. They also helped lay out the foundations of temples, monuments, and even the Great Pyramid of Giza. The base of the Great Pyramid is a perfect square, which is an astonishing feat of measurement and design. The Pharaoh himself oversaw these measurements, but it was the Rope Stretchers who executed them. Their work represents one of humanity’s earliest recorded sciences: the careful measuring of the earth. How Geometry Got Its Name The name geometry reflects this ancient practice. It comes from two Greek words: gê — earth metron — measure Geometry literally means earth measurement. The Egyptians did not use the language of right angles, nor did they classify triangles as we do today. Their work was grounded in practical needs. They needed to solve problems, organize land, and create structures that would endure for thousands of years. Yet their discoveries influenced later thinkers like Pythagoras, who likely traveled to Egypt and learned from their methods. Over time, the simple knotted rope inspired a whole discipline devoted to understanding lines, angles, shapes, and the relationships between them. Why We Tell This Story in Montessori When Montessori children hear this story, something important happens. Geometry becomes more than a set of rules or vocabulary words. It becomes a human endeavor born from curiosity, necessity, and ingenuity. The heart of Montessori education at Wheaton Montessori School is to help children view knowledge not as isolated subjects, but as valuable gifts passed down from earlier generations. When children pick up a ruler, explore angles with a protractor, or classify triangles in the classroom, they are continuing a legacy that began with those early Rope Stretchers, the Harpedonaptai on the banks of the Nile. Through story, students feel connected to the people who shaped our world and to the problems that inspired great ideas. Geometry becomes meaningful, purposeful, and alive, from our preschoolers working with the Geometry Cabinet , to elementary students classifying and measuring angles or using hands-on Pythagorean Theory materials, and all the way through our adolescents. At the adolescent level, geometry moves fully into the real world. Students apply measurement, angles, area, scale, and spatial reasoning through meaningful work across campus, including: Measuring and mapping land for the campus’s Wetland Conservation Area, as well as calculating classroom square footage for recognition and accreditation applications Understanding and applying area, perimeter, scale, and proportion when working with acreage, restoration plans, and campus layouts Designing and situating functional structures such as chicken coops using geometric principles Applying angle classification, measurement, and spatial reasoning through woodworking Using geometry to cut, join, and build accurately, including raised beds, greenhouses, and beehive insulation boxes