In Honor of Grandparents
Rebecca Lingo • July 24, 2023

Wheaton Montessori’s community extends beyond the children we have in our classrooms. We are fortunate to have many families who have grandparents actively involved with caring for their grandchildren, some help cover tuition costs, many babysit on no school days, and a large percentage of grandparents help with transportation to and from school. We are grateful for grandparents and special friends who fill this role.


Aleta Ledendecker was a Montessori teacher for nearly 40 years. She started her own Montessori school and taught early childhood through adolescents. Aleta was also a Montessori teacher trainer. She is now retired and has three grandchildren. In honor of Grandparents’ Day on July 26, Aleta shared some thoughts about Montessori and grandparenting.


As a former Montessori teacher, how has Montessori shaped the way you grandparent?


A new world of love and support revealed itself to me with the birth of my grandchildren. Being a grandparent is so different from parenting. Parenting is hard, so of course, when my grandchildren were born, I had the desire to help out in any way that could ease the burden. 


As a Montessorian, I also know the importance of those first years. We are the grandparents who give the developmentally appropriate “toys” and art materials. We read to the grandchildren when we are visiting. And I tell them stories about when I was a little girl. I knew how much my Montessori students enjoyed those stories from “long ago” and, with my grandchildren, they take on new meaning as a way to share a tangible piece of the past with the future. 


What do you consider to be the role of a grandparent?


I see grandparenting from an alternative view. I often see grandparents using grandparenting as a chance to utterly spoil the children. I never really thought about grandparenting that way. I see being a grandparent as being an additional resource, an additional trusted adult, in the lives of my grandchildren. In that way, I want to support their passions and help them develop as best they can at every stage of their lives. 


With all of this in mind, what does that look like when you are with your grandchildren? What do you do?


I think about what they enjoy, what their passions are, what they want to do, and what they want to become. I don’t always know what that is, but sometimes I get glimpses. So I like to be there to support their interests, whether that is learning to play the drums or how to invest. I want to be the kind of grandparent my grandkids feel comfortable saying, “Can you help me with this?”


With parents, this kind of help can be very direct. As a grandparent, how do you offer support, especially if you are grandparenting from a distance?


It’s really, really hard to grandparent from a distance. Sometimes I feel like I don’t know my grandchildren as well as I wish. But in my role as a grandparent, I try to listen as hard as I can to what it is they are saying and what it is they are not saying. I try to look at what it is their parents want from them. I think deeply about what their lives might be like in the future and what I can do to help them become the best people that they want to be.


When you are with your grandchildren, what do you prioritize?


One of the things I think is really important is that grandchildren see their grandparents as whole people, not just the veneer of being a grandparent. I like to show them that I have a life too, that there are interests and passions of mine. Because I think if they see that, they get a better sense of how to rely on me as a real person and not just a figure or role. They can see me as a real, whole personality. If they know what I like and what I’ve done in my life, it can give them an idea of how they can better use me as a resource. One of the things I really like to help do is share experiences with them. They get to know me and their grandfather as being people they can experience things with and not just get stuff from. 


Is there anything else you would like to share?


I want to say to other grandparents, especially those who have grandchildren in Montessori, that this system of education may look very different from what they are familiar with. It may seem foreign. But it really is a wonderful experience for children and will help them grow into wonderful adults.


We wish you a wonderful Grandparents’ Day! And hope that your schedule permits you to attend our celebration each year on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. This fall, we celebrate grandparents and special “just like” grandparents on Tuesday, November 21, 2023.


Grandparents are also welcome to observe during the school year on typical days, tour with parents while choosing schools for the first time or to continue to re-enroll, and for holiday celebrations like our Halloween parade.


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By Rebecca Lingo January 26, 2026
Learn how the Montessori Absorbent Mind empowers young children to effortlessly absorb language, culture, and behavior, and how parents can nurture it.
Children outside a building; title
By Suzanna Mayhugh, Lower Elementary Teacher January 19, 2026
Montessori Mayhem? Pint-Sized Pandemonium? When I give tours of the Elementary classrooms or welcome new parents to the Elementary program at Wheaton Montessori School, some parents believe that students are allowed complete freedom, as if the classrooms are a beautiful den of chaos and anarchy. Indeed, this is one of the biggest misconceptions about Montessori education. (The biggest misconception being, in my experience, that Montessori isn’t “real world” education. But as we say in our lessons, “That’s a story for another day.”) While Montessori classrooms DO give children the freedoms they require and deserve, it’s not an unlimited free-for-all with an adult watching from an observation chair! Freedom is always balanced with responsibility, to oneself and to the community. These values, freedom and responsibility, are essential for creating a happy, busy, humming classroom where children thrive. What Does Freedom Mean in Our Classroom? “Freedom” in the classroom means that students are encouraged to make choices about their learning. Just as in our Primary classrooms at Wheaton Montessori School, students are free to choose their work, their seat, and their work partners. They are free to move about the classroom and do not need to raise their hands to visit the restroom, get a drink of water, or ask a question. Let’s look at a few of these freedoms more closely. Students are Free to Choose Their Work. For example, they may choose which book to read, choose a work partner to research a chosen topic, or practice a tricky bit of a lesson over and over. They are also able to choose how they will show their understanding. They might present their understanding through a poster, a diorama, a model, a handmade book, or an enormous amount of cardboard and hot glue. These choices empower students to take charge of their education and express themselves in ways that suit their interests and strengths, something a standardized test or a worksheet can never do. However, freedom in the classroom ALWAYS has limits. For example, students are free to choose their work, but choosing NOT to work is not an option. They are free to choose their work from the lessons that have been presented to them. While students may choose their reading material, it must be appropriate for their reading level and classroom guidelines. When students select a partner, they must do so respectfully and inclusively. When students create projects and work output, they must do so with care, make proper use of materials, and in a way that shows what they understand about their topic. Additionally, these choices should never disrupt their own learning and construction, or that of their peers. The Role of Responsibility In a true Montessori classroom, freedom comes with responsibility. And that responsibility can sometimes be uncomfortable at first. Students are expected to care for classroom materials, such as returning books and lesson materials to the shelf, taking part in classroom jobs, keeping a record of their work in their work journals, and handling art supplies properly. They are responsible for practicing their lessons and completing chosen follow-up work, listening attentively during lessons or when a classmate is sharing a presentation or thought, and helping classmates when needed and available. A student is not free to use materials in a way that damages or wastes the classroom supplies or puts anyone in harm’s way. Freedom within our classroom never allows for harming oneself, others, or the classroom materials. Healthy boundaries, limits, and structures are consistently communicated in advance with clarity and respect, ensuring practicality and alignment within the community. Classroom expectations and rules are collaboratively developed and agreed upon by the community. In order to foster a positive learning environment, both students and teachers are expected to adhere to the shared expectations and responsibilities. When necessary, the classroom adult will address students and reiterate expectations and boundaries in a firm yet considerate manner. This balanced approach is effective only when maintained consistently throughout each day. What Might it Look Like When the Balance Needs to Shift? The adults in the classroom are constantly observing the children to be sure that each child has as much freedom as they are ready for, providing them space, room, and opportunities to show their strengths, and make their own choices throughout the day. When that freedom is too much, a teacher might need to provide more lessons in how to use materials that have been damaged or used improperly, limit work partner choices, or have a student sit with the teacher while they practice lessons or work with precious art materials. The adults will be watching for the perfect moment to allow the child increased freedom within the classroom, and within the limits of the understood responsibilities. How Freedom and Responsibility Work Together Finding the right mix of freedom and responsibility is something we work on together every day in our classroom. Montessori teachers are specially trained to guide this balance, helping students practice important skills like making good choices, solving problems, and learning self-control. When children are trusted to make decisions, they also learn to take responsibility for those choices. Experiencing the natural consequences of their actions helps them become kind, thoughtful, and capable members of their community who understand how their choices affect others. What Does This Have to Do with Parents? Your support at home makes a big difference. By working together, we can help your child thrive both at school and at home. Encouraging your child to take responsibility for their actions and decisions reinforces what they learn in class. Yes, it can be uncomfortable, but it is necessary. It also becomes easier, more comfortable, and needs to be practiced less often when practiced consistently (like most things!). This supportive consistency across settings, at home and at school, helps children feel confident, cared for, and increasingly independent.