Social Growth with Empathy and Resilience
Rebecca Lingo • November 17, 2025

Childhood and adolescence is full of exciting growth and will have tricky social situations. Children are learning how to communicate kindly and effectively, make and maintain friendships, manage their emotions, and solve problems, all while figuring out their place within the community. It’s no surprise that challenges arise.


As parents and caregivers, our instinct is often to protect our children, especially when they come home upset or struggling. Our children sometimes need to vent and be comforted to move past upsets. Sometimes they want or need support to follow while protection is necessary in matters of safety and wellbeing, it’s not always possible—or helpful—in emotional growth. One of our hardest tasks in raising children of any age is to support them through their discomforts and weather them smoothly. Instead of sparing them from all moments like their growth is fragile, let’s take these opportunities to support problem-solving, resilience, and compassion.


Common Challenges


Throughout their childhood, children will face a series of challenges with their peers. As children experiment with language, they also experiment with the impact of their words. Silly “potty talk” might elicit a laugh from peers one day, but be upsetting another time. Tweens and adolescents may experience turbulence around group Halloween costumes. Challenges like this are not signs of failure. Rather, they are a normal part of learning how to relate to others.


Key Steps for Supporting Emotional Growth


Step One: Regulate Our Own Emotions


Children are highly attuned to our feelings. Before acting, it’s best to give ourselves time to process. This pause helps us avoid acting out of frustration and gives us space to see the bigger picture.


Step Two: Validate Our Child’s Feelings


Resist the urge to jump straight into fixing. Instead, focus on empathy and validation:


  • “I’m so sorry that happened.”
  • “That must have felt really unexpected.”
  • “How are you feeling right now?”


This kind of acknowledgment lets your child know their emotions are normal and safe to express. It’s important to keep ourselves neutral, though. Our children don’t need us to absorb their emotions. Rather, they need a safe space to feel and express themselves without our emotional reactions. They also don’t need us to magnify their discomfort. They need to feel our steady confidence that they can handle this feeling, however uncomfortable.


Step Three: Support Problem-Solving Skills


Problem-solving is learned through practice and experience. Our children and adolescents need us to model and support their process. Here is a simple four-step approach:


Brainstorm: Work with your child to come up with two or three strategies. This is most effective when you keep the specific skill you want them to learn in mind (e.g., advocacy, making friends, respecting personal space). Older children and adolescents can often come up with their own strategies to share with you.


Model: Show them what the strategy looks like. With young children, humor, stuffed animals, or role play can make this engaging. With adolescents, subtle or inferred support is often more readily accepted.


Practice: Give your child or adolescent time to rehearse, just as one would when practicing a sport. Offer encouragement and feedback for younger ones, while recognizing that adolescents may prefer a quieter form of connection, even as they navigate their strong peer identities.


Plan: Together, choose one strategy to try for a few days. Reflect on progress and create a “Plan B” if needed.


This approach not only teaches social skills but also builds flexibility, persistence, and confidence.


In both situations, it can help to let your child’s classroom teacher know what is happening at home. Keep in mind, though, that sometimes children simply want to vent — this offloads their discomfort to us as their caregivers. When that happens, you might gently respond, “This sounds like something your teacher can help you with tomorrow.”


Social dynamics shift quickly, and young people often live in the moment more easily than we do as parents. If you feel uncertain, please reach out to teachers promptly when concerns arise so they can provide context, support problem-solving in real time, and keep an extra eye out. Your children are loved here, and we deeply value their friendships.


Compassion and the Bigger Picture


It’s natural to feel protective when our children experience social challenges. The skills our children learn (such as problem-solving, advocacy, and empathy) extend far beyond the classroom. They prepare our children to thrive in diverse communities, workplaces, and future relationships.


How Your Young Children Learn and Why It Matters
By Rebecca Lingo February 23, 2026
How Your Young Children Learn and Why It Matters Your young children learn by actively constructing themselves through purposeful work. From birth through age six, learning is not passive or instructional. It is driven from within your child, supported by responsive adults like you and all of my colleagues. This internal passion to learn is also boosted through the campus design and surroundings. Every movement, repetition, and exploration is meaningful work that builds the child’s body, mind, language, and sense of self. How learning happens Active construction through work: Your young children learn by doing. Don’t we all! Movement, using the hands, exploring real materials, and repeating challenging tasks are how the brain develops. This work must be meaningful and appropriately challenging, not busy work. Movement and the hand: Development of walking, balance, and refined hand use is foundational. Your children of all ages need freedom to move and manipulate real objects to fully develop coordination, concentration, and foundational academics like writing and adding. Language through relationship: Language develops through reciprocal human interactions. Rich spoken language, conversation, naming the world, and storytelling are essential. Wheaton Montessori School eliminates screens and background noise to highlight communication. Sensorial exploration of reality: Your children learn the world through their senses. Touching, comparing, carrying, observing, and interacting with real things builds the foundation for imagination, reasoning, and abstract thinking later. Authentic Montessori immerses us in exploration and discovery. Sensitive periods: Your children pass through brief, powerful windows of heightened interest and ability, such as for language, movement, social behavior, etc. Wheaton Montessori School teachers observe and offer the right experience at the right time. Learning happens easily and joyfully and feels like play! Concentration and normalization: When your children are connected to meaningful work that they choose themselves and repeat, they develop deep concentration, self-regulation, delight in effort, and care for others. Why This Is Important Early experiences shape lifelong learning: Early experiences lay the neurological, emotional, and social foundation for everything that follows. Missed opportunities are harder to recover: Skills learned during ideal stages are acquired with ease. When these periods are missed, learning later requires more effort and frustration. My colleagues are passionate about tailoring lessons and their classrooms to match child development (and adolescent development, too!) Strong foundations support later independence: Your children deserve rich early support leading to confident, capable, socially aware, and academically prepared people. Well-supported children become well-adjusted humans: This approach supports not just academic readiness, but the development of secure, courteous, empathetic children who care about their community and the world. In short, your children learn best when they are trusted as active learners, supported by attentive adults, and given real, challenging work at the right time. Investing in this early foundation supports not only your child’s success in school, but their lifelong well-being and ability to thrive.
Be Quiet and Sit Still
By Rebecca Lingo February 16, 2026
At Wheaton Montessori School, your child is guided by highly trained professionals who deeply understand child and adolescent development. Every day, thoughtful structures and intentional practices support students in using their intellect, curiosity, time, and choices successfully, so they can grow into capable, self-directed individuals. Dr. Maria Montessori never equated being “good” with silence or stillness. Our teachers do not equate being well-behaved with being quiet and sitting still. In fact, like Dr. Montessori, we believe that movement, communication, and social interaction are essential to learning. When you observe a classroom at Wheaton Montessori School, you’ll see exactly that: children moving purposefully, talking with peers, collaborating, and responsibly managing their academic work throughout the day. What may look like “freedom” on the surface is actually built upon a strong underlying structure. Students experience a sense of choice, what to work on, where to sit, how long to engage, and who to collaborate with, because the environment has been carefully prepared to support those decisions. The Power of Structure and Grace The foundation of our campus is made up of proactive lessons called Grace and Courtesy . These lessons explicitly teach students how to: Set up and return materials Respect others’ space and work Ask to observe a peer’s work Acknowledge feelings and resolve conflict respectfully These shared lessons give everyone a common language and reference point for living and learning together. Older or more experienced students model appropriate behavior, creating classrooms full of young teachers, not just the adults guiding the environment. Students always have opportunities to challenge themselves or to take a healthy break. They work and play with materials they are developmentally ready to use, ensuring success while still encouraging growth. Not a Free-For-All: A Thoughtfully Designed Community Authentic Montessori environments are often misunderstood as unstructured. In reality, our campus is carefully designed to meet the developmental needs of preschool children through high school freshmen. The structure is natural, respectful, and aligned with who children and adolescents truly are. We know learners may still experience frustration, regret, and disappointment at times. Those moments are part of learning. When a child sits beside a teacher to regroup, it may feel like a “time out” to them, but it is actually a moment of support, reflection, and connection within a safe community. When challenging behaviors arise, our teachers respond with empathy and expertise. They understand that all behavior communicates a need. Rather than relying on rewards or punishments, teachers may guide a child toward a break, offer work that better meets their developmental needs, or help them return to a centered and purposeful state. Growing Self-Discipline From the Inside Out At Wheaton Montessori School, self-discipline and regulation develop through meaningful activity. Expected behavior grows through practice within a warm, structured community. Curiosity sparks interest, interest fuels focus, and focus leads toward mastery. This process contributes to valorization, your child’s growing sense of confidence, capability, and belonging. Children who feel balanced and respected naturally behave with greater care for themselves, others, and their environment. This sums up Dr. Montessori’s limits in three rules: care for yourself, care for others, and care for your surroundings. The true outcome of this work is human development: your child and adolescent’s identity, agency, purpose, and love of learning. When they understand big ideas and see themselves as capable contributors, they grow in ways that last a lifetime.