From Independence to Interdependence

As we help our children learn to navigate the world, we are supporting their journey toward independence. At Wheaton Montessori School, we often emphasize the importance of independently tying shoes, riding bikes, and preparing family meals. But did you know that independence isn’t our end goal?!

Our Children’s Journey

Dr. Maria Montessori observed four distinct planes of development, each representing a stage in the human journey toward greater maturity, independence, and ultimately, interdependence. At each stage, children have specific developmental needs and characteristics, and our educational approach evolves to meet them.

A core element of Montessori education is the prepared environment, a carefully designed space that gives children the freedom to move, make choices, and act with purpose. This freedom within thoughtfully designed limits supports the development of a child’s personality. We become who we are through movement and choice. Independence, then, is not just about being able to do something alone; it is also about being able to do something independently. It’s about becoming oneself.

Yet, as humans, we don’t exist in isolation. We live amongst others, and to live effectively in community with others, we must first be able to function independently. Put another way, before we can offer help to others, contribute meaningfully, or collaborate, we must first meet our own developmental needs.

First Plane (Birth to Age 6): The Formation of the Individual

From birth, children begin the work of self-construction. During this stage, children are focused on adapting to their immediate environment. Infants and toddlers explore freely using movement and their senses.

This stage is all about gaining functional independence. By the end of this period, children can walk, talk, eat, and care for their bodies. They no longer rely completely on adults for basic needs and are ready to take their place in a social setting. A Montessori classroom is just the place!

Dr. Montessori planned for this stage when children are just beginning to participate in group life and shape their sense of self.

In the classroom, we offer children endless opportunities to gain independence, such as zipping their own jackets, pouring their own water, and preparing a snack. We also provide opportunities to care for others and the environment. Once children master the skill of pouring, they can use it to beautify the classroom by pouring water into a vase for flower arranging. After learning to sweep, they’ll notice a spill and take initiative to clean it up. When a friend needs help with their coat, they’re eager to step in and assist.

Caring for oneself and for others lays the foundation for a life of contribution.

Second Plane (Ages 6–12): Intellectual and Moral Independence

In the second stage of development, the focus shifts from physical to intellectual exploration. Children begin to ask big questions: “Why?” “How?” “What if?” Their imagination and reasoning flourish. Their curiosity is boundless.

Socially, this is a period of intense peer interaction. Children form close friendships, work collaboratively, and begin sorting out moral questions of right and wrong. Dr. Montessori described this as a “practice society,” a safe space where children rehearse the roles and responsibilities of adulthood.

While the first-plane child says, “Help me do it myself,” the second-plane child says, “Help me think for myself.” Their independence becomes more abstract. They’re forming their own ideas, solving problems, and taking responsibility for their learning and behavior. (This isn’t just a willy-nilly free-for-all; responsibility comes within structures and limits to support success.)

This intellectual and social freedom plants the seeds of interdependence — the essence of community! Children might notice a peer struggling with a math problem and offer support. Or they might mediate a conflict between friends, using logic and empathy to help everyone feel heard. Their developing independence becomes a tool for service, leadership, and connection.

Third Plane (Ages 12–18): Social and Economic Independence

As adolescents' need for independence takes on new dimensions, our 7th–9th grade programs are structured accordingly—maintaining the same rigorous, research-based design. Teenagers’ desire for independence evolves. They want to understand their role in society and make real contributions to the world. They’re seeking both social and economic independence, and they need real, meaningful work to meet this developmental drive.

Montessori adolescent programs, like at Wheaton Montessori School, are designed to support these evolving needs. Authentic programs share key components:

Running a small business
Growing and preparing food
Caring for animals
Engaging in community service
Assuming meaningful leadership roles

Students apply academic skills in real-world contexts—writing marketing plans, managing finances, and collaborating with others. In doing so, they are learning how to problem-solve, communicate, live, and contribute to a complex society.

This is the point at which all earlier experiences of independence converge. Young people between 12 and 18 years of age apply their knowledge and skills in the service of others. While doing so, they discover what they can offer the world and who they are becoming in the process.

Outcomes: Maturity, Independence, and Interdependence

At its core, Montessori education fosters three deeply interconnected outcomes: independence, maturity, and interdependence.

Maturity goes beyond academic achievement. It’s the holistic development of a person capable of making a meaningful contribution to the world and knowing they belong. Independence, evolving across each stage of development, is essential to this process. But independence is not the final step. True maturity culminates in interdependence, the natural, collaborative state of human life we call community.

Why This Matters

Every act of independence, from an infant grasping a rattle to a teen extracting honey, is a step toward full participation in human society. These conquests matter.

So, when your toddler insists on putting on their shoes, when your eight-year-old argues about fair rules, or when your teenager wants to solve a conflict without your help, pause. Remember that these are not just frustrating moments. They are signs that your child is on the right path.

Independence is the path to a life grounded in meaningful work, mutual respect, and authentic connection with others.

Campus Visits to Experience Independence and Community

Schedule a visit to Wheaton Montessori School, the only internationally accredited Montessori school in Illinois that serves children from preschool through freshman year of high school. This is where we discover, grow, and thrive together.

Current Families: Classroom observations begin in mid-October!
Curious about what’s next? It’s never too early to peek into your child’s next adventure. Ready to level up? Let us know when you'd like to visit!

Alumni: We invite you to reconnect with your former teachers and classrooms—please email the office to schedule your visit.

Prospective Families: Explore our campus and connect with our highly specialized teachers, who guide and inspire young people on their journey of becoming. We invite you to schedule a tour today!

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How Your Young Children Learn and Why It Matters

By Rebecca Lingo • February 23, 2026

How Your Young Children Learn and Why It Matters Your young children learn by actively constructing themselves through purposeful work. From birth through age six, learning is not passive or instructional. It is driven from within your child, supported by responsive adults like you and all of my colleagues. This internal passion to learn is also boosted through the campus design and surroundings. Every movement, repetition, and exploration is meaningful work that builds the child’s body, mind, language, and sense of self. How learning happens Active construction through work: Your young children learn by doing. Don’t we all! Movement, using the hands, exploring real materials, and repeating challenging tasks are how the brain develops. This work must be meaningful and appropriately challenging, not busy work. Movement and the hand: Development of walking, balance, and refined hand use is foundational. Your children of all ages need freedom to move and manipulate real objects to fully develop coordination, concentration, and foundational academics like writing and adding. Language through relationship: Language develops through reciprocal human interactions. Rich spoken language, conversation, naming the world, and storytelling are essential. Wheaton Montessori School eliminates screens and background noise to highlight communication. Sensorial exploration of reality: Your children learn the world through their senses. Touching, comparing, carrying, observing, and interacting with real things builds the foundation for imagination, reasoning, and abstract thinking later. Authentic Montessori immerses us in exploration and discovery. Sensitive periods: Your children pass through brief, powerful windows of heightened interest and ability, such as for language, movement, social behavior, etc. Wheaton Montessori School teachers observe and offer the right experience at the right time. Learning happens easily and joyfully and feels like play! Concentration and normalization: When your children are connected to meaningful work that they choose themselves and repeat, they develop deep concentration, self-regulation, delight in effort, and care for others. Why This Is Important Early experiences shape lifelong learning: Early experiences lay the neurological, emotional, and social foundation for everything that follows. Missed opportunities are harder to recover: Skills learned during ideal stages are acquired with ease. When these periods are missed, learning later requires more effort and frustration. My colleagues are passionate about tailoring lessons and their classrooms to match child development (and adolescent development, too!) Strong foundations support later independence: Your children deserve rich early support leading to confident, capable, socially aware, and academically prepared people. Well-supported children become well-adjusted humans: This approach supports not just academic readiness, but the development of secure, courteous, empathetic children who care about their community and the world. In short, your children learn best when they are trusted as active learners, supported by attentive adults, and given real, challenging work at the right time. Investing in this early foundation supports not only your child’s success in school, but their lifelong well-being and ability to thrive.

Be Quiet and Sit Still

By Rebecca Lingo • February 16, 2026

At Wheaton Montessori School, your child is guided by highly trained professionals who deeply understand child and adolescent development. Every day, thoughtful structures and intentional practices support students in using their intellect, curiosity, time, and choices successfully, so they can grow into capable, self-directed individuals. Dr. Maria Montessori never equated being “good” with silence or stillness. Our teachers do not equate being well-behaved with being quiet and sitting still. In fact, like Dr. Montessori, we believe that movement, communication, and social interaction are essential to learning. When you observe a classroom at Wheaton Montessori School, you’ll see exactly that: children moving purposefully, talking with peers, collaborating, and responsibly managing their academic work throughout the day. What may look like “freedom” on the surface is actually built upon a strong underlying structure. Students experience a sense of choice, what to work on, where to sit, how long to engage, and who to collaborate with, because the environment has been carefully prepared to support those decisions. The Power of Structure and Grace The foundation of our campus is made up of proactive lessons called Grace and Courtesy . These lessons explicitly teach students how to: Set up and return materials Respect others’ space and work Ask to observe a peer’s work Acknowledge feelings and resolve conflict respectfully These shared lessons give everyone a common language and reference point for living and learning together. Older or more experienced students model appropriate behavior, creating classrooms full of young teachers, not just the adults guiding the environment. Students always have opportunities to challenge themselves or to take a healthy break. They work and play with materials they are developmentally ready to use, ensuring success while still encouraging growth. Not a Free-For-All: A Thoughtfully Designed Community Authentic Montessori environments are often misunderstood as unstructured. In reality, our campus is carefully designed to meet the developmental needs of preschool children through high school freshmen. The structure is natural, respectful, and aligned with who children and adolescents truly are. We know learners may still experience frustration, regret, and disappointment at times. Those moments are part of learning. When a child sits beside a teacher to regroup, it may feel like a “time out” to them, but it is actually a moment of support, reflection, and connection within a safe community. When challenging behaviors arise, our teachers respond with empathy and expertise. They understand that all behavior communicates a need. Rather than relying on rewards or punishments, teachers may guide a child toward a break, offer work that better meets their developmental needs, or help them return to a centered and purposeful state. Growing Self-Discipline From the Inside Out At Wheaton Montessori School, self-discipline and regulation develop through meaningful activity. Expected behavior grows through practice within a warm, structured community. Curiosity sparks interest, interest fuels focus, and focus leads toward mastery. This process contributes to valorization, your child’s growing sense of confidence, capability, and belonging. Children who feel balanced and respected naturally behave with greater care for themselves, others, and their environment. This sums up Dr. Montessori’s limits in three rules: care for yourself, care for others, and care for your surroundings. The true outcome of this work is human development: your child and adolescent’s identity, agency, purpose, and love of learning. When they understand big ideas and see themselves as capable contributors, they grow in ways that last a lifetime.